Me Ow - The Untold Story

Please listen along as you read the wonderful tale (right-click to save it to your very own pooter, then open it in your mp3 player of choice to follow the track markings):

diarrhoea_victim-me_ow(squatter_arc_remix).mp3

0:00

Once upon a time there was a monster that lived peacefully in a cave

0:15

Look how content he is! Monsters love their sleep. Unfortunately he had a bad dream and woke up real angry like

0:28

He decided to have a quick rampage, and stomped on down to the local village to attack its one skyscraper and squish some people.

0:55

Becky was not very happy about this kind of behaviour at all, so she mustered up all the courage she had in her little heart, and made some blippy squeaking noises.

1:23

Her valiant cry served to rally the townspeople, and they mustered together to do battle with the sleepy monster (one of them had a yellow hat, this probably helped)

2:04

They constructed a giant (compared to them, not the monster) catapult and fired it right at the monster.

BISH!

The monster slunk off back to his cave to recover and go back to sleep.

2:05
The villagers were so triumphant at their victory, that spontaneously they started to have it big time; they dropped tunes like boulders and generally got down some.

Unfortunately they made the mistake of playing some minimal house, and monsters can’t stand minimal house. Not one little bit.

2:59

So the monster came back to rampage the village, and ate up little Becky in really really slowmotion (those are her real screams recorded on the track).

Turn the page when you hear this noise: ———–

3:01

It turned out that the village people hated Becky, because she was always getting them into trouble by trying to get them to stand up to monsters by using giant catapults. They were joyful at her demise, and invited the monster to join them for some karaoke. As the villagers’ speakers had been damaged in the last rampage, the monster brought down his stack from his cave. The karaoke eventually turned into a break-off and there was much servage in the village that night.
If you listen carefully, you can still hear Becky screaming her little slowly-thumping-to-a-halt heart out in the background of the party.

3:56

After busting some moves himself, the monster headed back to his cave. The screams of the villagers and brave little Becky still rang through his mind as he tried to doze off, so he irresponsibly took some drugs to deal with the trauma.

And they all lived happily ever after, even Becky in her brave little afterlife/rebirth/cosmic void/etc (delete as appropriate)

4:25

Theeeeend.